About

The other day I was walking through the lobby of the building where I work when I encountered the following piece of flair – “We have charts & graphs to back us up. So fuck off!”

Never mind that I work in a building with its own gold dome, and that the sentiment lacks any sense of decorum for my building or any other, really – I had found a lapel pin that all at once expressed the lion’s share of my inner monologue.

For it’s true – I love charts and graphs, believe the word “fuck” can be simultaneously vulgar and powerful, and I possess a general air of superiority. I am, after all, a Republican.

I loathe the outdoors, save the beach, and would rather drink my gin and tonic in peace and indoors than have all the beer in the world on a deck overlooking the mountains . . . even at sunset.

I prefer Freon to fresh air, Syraz to sports, and sweaters to swimsuits.

I would walk a long way to hear my son’s laughter and farther still to see the light in my wife’s eyes.

I love Jesus, but I don’t understand his church. I like people, but hate crowds. I like reading, but can ignore time completely for a good conversation with good friends.